Sunday, January 29, 2012

How To Catch A Mouse

Mice are so damn cute. I really love the skittering little sweethearts, but sometimes in the winter they get into your house and start fucking things up. We had a mouse in the house as recently as yesterday and here is a step-by-step for how to safely and humanely capture and gently release the mouse. 

1. Put an amount of peanut butter or almond butter in the end of an empty toilet paper roll. This is the mouse bait!

2.Place the roll on a high kitchen counter, precariously placed with the nut-butter end sticking over the ledge. The idea is the mouse will crawl through the tube to get the bait and fall safely down into...

3.The tall garbage bin placed below the counter. It has to be tall as hell because the mouse will be freaked and try to jump up and out. Two 1/2 feet minimum height.

4. Go play a weird gig, or do something that will leave the kitchen dark and free of humanistic smells. We went to do a Damned Dogs set in Allen Park. Try to find the weirdest possible thing to do so it leaves the house unstirred for at least an hour.

5.Upon your return the mouse will have been trapped!!! Take it out into a field or somewhere at least a half mile away, otherwise it will just come right back into your house. Give it something rare to eat, give it a name, give it a kiss and then say goodbye until you meet again.

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